29 August 2006

We're All Entitled To Unreasoning Hatreds...

But what is it with Lou Gots and baseball caps?

5 comments:

Susan's Husband said...

Mr. Gots is once again focusing on a key element in the decline of our civilization. Personally, I think we should simply outlaw baseball caps entirely. Anybody caught wearing them should be put in the biomass to ethanol conversion camps with the "Nine Planets Front" people.

Brit said...

Verily, it behoves us to examine the millinery preference of the folk-enemy.

Let us go back, way back, ere yet the queers, gun-haters and worthy oriental gentlemen bent the craven knee to the Great Oppressor.

Forsooth, did not our forbears take up the humble cap and place thereupon a peaked bill, so that they and their children's children might take aim and fire on the noble stag and the worthy oriental gentlemen, without fear of the emblindening effects of the Sun?

And so it came to pass that the Judas, the Folk-Traitor, who cared not for the guns, guts and glory of his ancestors, who followed not the straight lines of his Father but instead set off upon his own Twisted Path, did symbolically grasp the billed cap 'twixt thumb and forefinger and yank it askew. For consider the etymology – the volk-traitor wears his hat at literally a ‘queer’ angle.

Enough! We shall not follow that Twisted Path, for that way the Darkness lieth. Instead, let us wear our caps straight, take up our arms, and march on to our Destiny, emboldened by the use of ever-flowering, self-consciously eccentric cod-Shakespearean prose, that it might lend a phoney gravitas to our odd collection of theorems.

David said...

Ali: In part thanks to Lou, I took my license to carry course the other day.

Now, I can be astonished that England has gun clubs and you can be astonished that Massachusetts has a license to carry.

David said...

Brit: LOLL (the second "L" is for literally).

Unknown said...

Lou is merely a firm adherent to Natural Law theory. The bill of a cap and a man's Johnson all belong in their proper place. You all are missing the connection, but didn't the rise in the askew wearing of caps coincide with the rise of the Gay Rights movement? It is blindingly obvious, once you think about it.

Tamper with the natural order at your peril.