05 August 2010

No Presents For Peter

The Secret Blog is in Montreal, having been admitted to Canada despite the following conversation.

Canadian Border Guard:  Good Afternoon.
The Secret Blog:  Good Afternoon.  (Hands over passports.)
CBG:  Where are you going?
TSB:  Montreal.
CBG:  What's the purpose of your visit?
TSB:  Pleasure..
CBG:  (Skeptically)  Pleasure?
TSB:  A vacation.
CBG:  Do you have anything to leave in Canada?
CBG:  Do you have any alcohol or tobacco in the car?
TSB:  No.
CBG:  (Starting to wrap up) Do you know anyone in Canada?
TSB:  (Hit by a stray gust of honesty.)  Yes, Peter Burnet.
CBG:  (No longer wrapping up; suddenly paying attention.)  How do you know him?
TSB:  (Spell of honesty passes; I imagine myself trying to explain BrothersJudd or even just saying, "I met him on the Internet."  I need an honest, plain-vanilla answer)  I've known him for years.
CBG:  (Look saying, that's not what I asked.)
TSB:  He's a personal friend.
CBG:  (Pause)
CBG:  Are you bringing any presents into Canada?
TSB:  No.
CBG:  Welcome to Canada.


Hey Skipper said...

TSB: (Hit by a stray gust of honesty.) Yes, Peter Burnet.
CBG: (No longer wrapping up; suddenly paying attention.)

Surely, that is something everyone can agree upon.

Brit said...

Yes I liked that bit too. "How do you know him?"

Perhaps the Canadian Border Guard (who I will assume was dressed in a similar fashion to a Mountie) is a Darwinist and has had a run-in or two with our Peter...

Peter said...

When he asked how you knew me, it's probably a good thing you had the presence of mind not to babble: "Oh, I met him through Hey Skipper and Annoying Old Guy.", or you might have been strip-searched.

Susan's Husband said...

Mr. Burnet;

Precisely why I use an online psuedonymn, so I can continue to covertly visit Canada.

erp said...

From a top secret news source:

A top secret agent, code name Hockey Puck, posing as a mild mannered lawyer living in a large Canadian city who has been providing invaluable intel on shenanigans in the frozen north, almost had his cover inadvertently blown by another top secret agent, code name Secret Blogger.

Both are said to be members of a far flung, loosely organized, international cabal known only as the PJA* who use the blogosphere to send coded messages disguised as nothing more than brilliant analyses and commentaries on a wide range of subjects. Some messages, however, containing references so arcane and obscure as to render them unintelligible to the casual reader may tip off the authorities that all isn’t as it seems.

*Some think it a reference to a granite state blog.